Baby
Or Crackhead??
We've
all been there. You hear screaming at 2 AM and don't know if
it's a baby or a crackhead. Used to be you had to take a chance on
cuddling pantless Joe back to sleep or screaming at a newborn to get
a job. But now there is a better way. Just consult this handy chart
and answer the toughest question of our day, baby or crackhead?
Baby
|
Crackhead
|
|
| Lack teeth |
X
|
X
|
| Scream often |
X
|
X
|
| Don't think multiple blackouts should lead to lifestyle changes |
X
|
X
|
| Often Vomit without warning |
X
|
X
|
| The elderly like to pinch their cheeks | X |
|
| Belive Bill Cosby | X | |
| Can fall asleep on a bench |
X
|
X
|
| Pee whenever they want |
X
|
X
|
| Star in popular YouTube fighting videos |
X
|
X
|
| Are often imported from China |
X
|
|
| Clothes rarely fit |
X
|
X
|
| Cant answer simple questions such who the president is |
X
|
X
|
| Think Yo Gabba Gabba is the story of their lives |
X
|
X
|
| Are not the first ones to wear their clothes |
X
|
X
|
| Shouldn't be given a flamethrower |
X
|
X
|
| Often appear in horror movies |
X
|
X
|
| Try to catch pigeons for food |
X
|
X
|
| Should be discouraged from juggling chainsaws |
X
|
X
|
| Setting then on fire triggers a 250 fine |
X
|
|
| Doesn't show the proper respect to Ruby Tuesday |
X
|
X
|
| Can't defeat even small ninjas |
X
|
X
|
| Doesn't mind eating at Arby's |
X
|
X
|
Wasn't
that helpful? Come back next week so I can show you how to tell the
difference between a rabid bear and a teenage girl.
