Baby Or Crackhead???

Baby Or Crackhead??

We've all been there. You hear screaming at 2 AM and  don't know if it's a baby or a crackhead. Used to be you had to take a chance on cuddling pantless Joe back to sleep or screaming at a newborn to get a job. But now there is a better way. Just consult this handy chart and answer the toughest question of our day, baby or crackhead?

	Baby	Crackhead
Lack teeth	X	X
Scream often	X	X
Don't think multiple blackouts should lead to lifestyle changes	X	X
Often Vomit without warning	X	X
The elderly like to pinch their cheeks	X
Belive Bill Cosby		X
Can fall asleep on a bench	X	X
Pee whenever they want	X	X
Star in popular YouTube fighting videos	X	X
Are often imported from China	X
Clothes rarely fit	X	X
Cant answer simple questions such who the president is	X	X
Think Yo Gabba Gabba is the story of their lives	X	X
Are not the first ones to wear their clothes	X	X
Shouldn't be given a flamethrower	X	X
Often appear in horror movies	X	X
Try to catch pigeons for food	X	X
Should be discouraged from juggling chainsaws	X	X
Setting then on fire triggers a 250 fine		X
Doesn't show the proper respect to Ruby Tuesday	X	X
Can't defeat even small ninjas	X	X
Doesn't mind eating at Arby's	X	X

Wasn't that helpful? Come back next week so I can show you how to tell the difference between a rabid bear and a teenage girl.