Rag Tag

Rag Tag

Rag Tag

“This has to be a joke. Can someone explain what I just saw? How we lost the game that would have put us into the little league world series?”

One of the players raised his hand.

“We’re not very good at playing baseball.”

“Did you think I chose the best players I could? Have you never seen a sports movie. I did my part. I chose the most rag tag group of misfits I could possible find. Do none of you know how life works?“

“Mittens”, he called to a child standing next to him.

“My name is Sam.”

“Mittens, even though God made you simple, he was supposed to give you a other gifts.”

“My hands get cold easily.”

He put his hands on mitten’s shoulder.

“It’s okay son. Some people think Steve Jobs just had ‘cold hands’. And Gandhi as well.

He turned to another player.

“Navajo Joe, you were supposed to use the wisdom of your people to help us find a new way of looking at the game”.

“Man, I’m Asian.”

“Glasses. Your lack of eye sight was supposed to make your other senses better. Instead you just have trouble seeing.”

“Jose, I caught you dealing drugs and put you on this team to make a difference in your life. And how do you repay me. By selling drugs during the game.”

“And girl. Don’t get me started on you. Instead of showing us how sexist we are, turns out you throw LIKE A GIRL.”

“Do any of you know how hard it was to get the district changed so it included the evil team from communist Russia as our arch rivals. Did you learn nothing from Cool Runnings? “

“Coach. Can I say something?”, A young African-American boy asked.

“Sure Jive Turkey”, he said giving the young lad the respect he and his culture deserved.

“Maybe the number of points scored is not the only way to measure the game. Maybe getting a chance to be on that field is worth more than any trophy. And coach you gave us that. He said as his teammates applauded.

Was Coach Jimmy wrong? Maybe life and movies were too separate things. Maybe he wasn’t the one who was doing the lessons. Maybe winning wasn’t the only thing. Maybe….

“Does anyone where I can find some illegal steroids, young looking Dominicans, and prostitutes that charge reasonable rates and don’t being appearing in compromising pictures with little league judges.”

The child stared at him. Their confusion made him look at his request in a new light.

“Not necessarily in that order.”

Like this story? Hate it with the power of a thousand sons? Have any other movie tropes that wouldn’t work in real life? Comment below. It’s the only way I’ll learn.