Donald
Trump's Misunderstood Call For Tolerance of Mexicans (real life fan
fiction)
By
Randy “Typical Trump Supporter” Rushton
The
last few weeks were difficult for Trump. Speaking to all those
people. Being forced to talk about himself. Boasting about his
accomplishments. This was not what the Donald was known for. He was
such a meek mannered person who was happy when others received the
credit. He looked out at the crowd of people, knowing they were ants
compared to his God like abilities, and that he would never judge
them for their ant behaviors.
As
he stood at the podium, Trump wished he could follow his heart, and
open a simple bakery in Maine, but the people needed him. They were
calling his name, and some of them had not been paid. He tried not
to get to close to them, scared they could become blind by staring
right at him. Trump prepared himself to speak reasonably in a
measured tone about a non-controversial subject, as he always did.
What could go wrong?
“When
Mexico sends its people, they're not sending the best, They're not
sending you”, he began the announcement. This seemed a rational
way to start as most comments about a racial group by those outside
that racial group are welcomed with open arms. He felt so bad for
Mexico. The best people couldn't be there, because they were at the
rally. Airtight logic.
“They're
sending people that have lots of problems and they're bringing those
problems.” , he continued, Trump's ocean blue eyes almost filled
with perfectly moist tears. Despite what the media may say later,
any logical person could tell what he meant. That these Mexicans they
had come to America to destroy their problems with the help of
Americans. That all Americans must come together to help them become
the best people they can be. There was no way to misunderstand this
statement.
“They're
bringing drugs,”, Trump continued. This was an important point
that was overlooked. We all know that Marijuana will soon be legal
and that Americans with it's vast morals would never break the law to
grow it. Some cartels have been known to decapitate their enemies
just to gain market share. Now, that's a group that understands
motivation. None of that weak liberal, everyone gets a trophy line of
thinking in those drug organizations. Sounds like something today's
kids need more of.
“They're
bringing crime.” Trump coughed as he tried to speak. This caused
many people to hear the word crime when he really meant grime. It was
well known to educated men like Trump that Mexico wasn't an advanced
place like America. Everyone knew Mexicans lived in houses with no
floors and didn't know the Earth was round. Trump knew they would
have to get slowly used to water coming through pipes. Not to worry.
His first act as president would be to get some local witch doctors
to bless the magic rods that delivered clean to their huts.
“They're rapists....” Trump's mouth said. For a few seconds,
Trump's brain tried to understand what his mouth said, but soon gave
up. His mouth often said things his brain didn't understand, so why
start now? Trump could pretend he was using some kind of metaphor
because that always led to a good outcome, but Trump was not someone
to take the easy way out. No, unlike the media, he would do the right
thing and just ignore some of the things he just said.
“
…...and some, I assume, are good people.”, he finished strongly
with his least offensive statement. Trump knew many hispanic people
that could probably be classified as good. He had learned that some
of his cleaning staff were from Honduras and that may be part of
Mexico. He wished he could have ended the speech in a stronger way,
but the rest of it had such strong facts, he didn't want to end it
with something he couldn't back up.
Trump
knew then that no one could find anything to disagree with in his
statement. And more importantly if the speech caused any problems, he
could always just sue them for ridiculous amounts of money, which
would make him look like a strong leader. And not just a petty child.
